Ninja Pajamas, and other good things.

Not only do I really hate cats, but I also really hate birds. It is springtime here in Portland, and along with that there are ginormous amounts of fricking birds EVERYWHERE. Thank GOD we got rid of a certain employee that fed geese in the field. This year there were only one or two geese and my dogs ran them off pretty consistently. However, there are still way too many birds. The problem with birds is that they have no redeeming qualities whatsoever, except for eggs and chicken. I would be willing to do without chicken, and possibly resign myself to synthesized eggs, just to be rid of birds.

1. They shit indescriminately. They shit all over everything, all the time. Not only is it a nasty white shitmark on my car, but it also eats into the paint. Birds don't pee, it's all just one massive disgusting looch of acrid nastiness. At least dogs and other animals have a little dignity and generally have toilet habits. Birds just let whatever fly out of their asses whenever from great heights. You can't even park in the parking garage or drive across a bridge without your car being pelted. They are so arrogant in their shit distribution methods, they are worse than those mexicans that stand in front of the casinos in Las Vegas pushing porno cards on everyone. At least the porno card pushers don't eat the paint off of your car, and the little titty cards do not give you histoplasmosis no matter how many are all over the ground.

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For your scrolling pleasure, I have moved the majority of this post to alternate hosting. Click above to read the rest of my bird anger. The funniest bits are yet to come. Since it's my own writing, I'll say that the "Excellent application of hatred and perfection of the use of the word 'fuck'" factor to be 5/5!