Ninja Pajamas, and other good things.

Things I know about, that other people tend not to know about, that there is really no point in knowing about, but I know about anyway.



WTF is that? Apparently, it's a new plate for Oregon. "Cultural Trust?" WTF is "Cultural Trust"? The plate looks like a digitized photograph of some people doing the nasty, therefore, Ayric calls it the "scrambled porn" plate. We've found a few of them parked here and there and have attempted to discern exactly what it is. We've tried squinting, not squinting, standing far away, getting up close, tilting our heads this way and that...and...nothing. Not the farthest stretch of the imagination can interpret it as anything but a scrambled porno photo of people with sunburns, possibly holding some steaks that are exploding.

Finally, in desperation, Ayric called me today after seeing on and experiencing a debilitating brain cramp of "What IS that THING!?!?" He said that he was in dire need of a "Things I know that other people don't know that, like, doesn't matter, TIKA-blah-blah."

So, here it is.

For quite some time, as I searched, I didn't come up with anything. Just that it was the new "Cultural" plate. What culture? Does Oregon have a prevaling scrambled porn culture that I've just missed out on? Culture? Our "culture" is one of Democratic gross negligence, which, I suppose, could be likened to getting your groove on instead of extinguishing flaming steaks.

Apparently Oregon, in infinite fiscal wisdom, passed a bill (or law, or whatever) securing Oregon's culture via sloppy funding, part of which comes from those who purchase Porn Plate. Your support of the Porn plate will ensure the "preservation of Oregon's cultural assets for generations to come." Hooray. That means things like Fort Stevens, which will never decay whatsoever due to being constructed entirely of boring-to-look-at cement, will continue to bore groups of schoolchildren and provide opportunities and shelter for their stolen moments of adolescent fumbling.

So, before I unveil the meaning behind the porn, take a moment to administer your own License Plate Rorschach Test. Post your thoughts to the comments! So far, responses beyond my own and Ayric's, without any coaching, include:

"It's 9/11, or, maybe mount hood with a sunset? Something about the Oregon Trail?"

"At first, it looked vaguely like a naked woman bending over backwards, but upon closer examination, I decided it was a sexually themed mural."

Without further ado:

The license plate designer, Kelly Kievit, trained as a fine artist with an MFA in sculpture from Arizona State University (1997) and is currently represented by Margo Jacobsen Gallery; she works as a graphic designer at CH2M Hill.

Of the over 100 designs submitted to the Cultural Trust in response to an open competition, two of Ms. Kievet's designs made it onto the short list. She referred to the selected entry as her "color field" proposal. The color field design does not use any recognizable images; rather, it is an abstract series of color overlays creating a warm field of color. From a distance, the plate will read as a warm, light red color that will be clearly distinguishable from other vanity plates such as the Salmon Plate, the Fir Tree or the new Crater Lake plate.

There you have it folks, it's a big stupid red blob. Which represents Cultural Heritage. Lame Lame Lame Lame LAME!

Now, if they had the sense to make one that had a goggle-eyed Vera Katz saying, "Let them eat cake", I would have bought it, because that really is the Oregon culture.